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Advice I've given to others that I really should take myself - Episode 1

I am an advice giver. If someone has a problem/question/struggle, I am the first to jump in with solutions/websites/books even if they didn't actually ask for it. It's not just me who does this right? I think it's probably really annoying but I just can't help myself. I like solving problems and feeling like I can be helpful. And I think often I am? (Oh god I hope so). And sometimes as I'm giving this advice I think to myself 'yes Grace, yes. This is great advice. You are very wise indeed.' But where I come a bit unstuck is that I hardly ever take my own advice. Or at least, what sounds so sage and straightforward when I'm lecturing someone else, isn't really like that when it comes to me actually doing it on a day to day basis. Essentially I'm a big fat hypocrite. 

(Side note: It makes me wonder actually whether all those self-help authors live their preachings? We totally assume that they do right? That they wouldn't be allowed not to. It would be interesting to find out whether this is true or whether they have days where they're like 'Fuck it I'm going to lie in bed all day, eat only processed foods and watch crappy tv').

So anyway I thought I would write a series of posts about all the bits of advice I've given to other people but seem incapable of taking myself. My hope is that by writing them down here I will work out why I seem to struggle when it comes to taking my own advice and what I can do to change that. Alternatively I might just discover that the advice I've been giving is a load of bollocks and I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. We shall see. 

Episode 1: Get on with it

My name is Grace and I am a procrastinator.

I procrastinated my way through university and pretty much haven't stopped since. I bloody love myself a bit of procrastination. Even as I write this I am thinking about procrastinating. (Writing this is hard. I can't find the words. I could just read ****'s blog for a bit to get inspiration or go on Pinterest for a bit). I find it really hard to get myself to do things that I find difficult. I build them up in my head, put them off, throw paddies, do everything else on my to do list and then finally, when I don't have quite enough time to get whatever it is done I panic and rush it and it's crap. 

Why? Why do I subject myself to this torture? I wish I knew. And I have recently come to the realisation that in fact it's an even bigger problem than I thought, because it's not just work or chores I am putting off - it is my life. I am not doing the things I really want to be doing because they are too difficult/scary/real. 

[Pause while I make a cup of tea, check my emails, look at Instagram... Where was I?]

But being the hypocrite I am, when talking to fellow procrastinators I have some really good advice, advice that can largely be summed up as 'get on with it'. Pretty straight forward really - if you want to do something, stop thinking about it/talking about it and just get on with it. 

For example, if you want to be a filmmaker, start making films. You might not have the skills/equipment/time and it might turn out to be really crap, but it doesn't matter. Find a way of doing it and then at least you will have done something. Look at the amazing directors out there - they didn't sit around coming up with lots of (really good) excuses about why they couldn't make a film. They did it. They do it. They get on with it. 

[Pause while I drink my tea, go on Amazon to look for books about procrastination, order Help! by Oliver Burkeman because it was recommended by a friend who used to work for Psychologies magazine so should know].

I think the 'get on with it' principle is really my attempt to take the emotion out of it - the over thinking, the fear of it not being good enough, or me not being good enough, of having no talent and everyone finding out once and for all. It's much safer in the not doing. The potential still exists - the fantasy is in tact. Also there's no hard work in the not doing. You don't have to deal with the struggle that goes into turning the fantasy a reality. That's the real test, and what if I'm not up to it? I'd rather not know. It's safer in the 'could be'. 

But I don't want to live in the 'could be' anymore - I really do want to get on with it and do something. Doing nothing is getting old and getting me down. And actually maybe writing this blog post is the first step? Doing this was difficult. It's been on my to do list for a good few weeks and I kept putting it off. And yeah it's taken a bit of effort but actually it's not been that bad. And you know what? I am going to post it even if it isn't quite right. In fact it may be rubbish, but that's okay - at least it's done. It exists. 

I'm not sure yet whether 'get on with it' is good advice or not... Maybe its actually harder than it sounds and I shouldn't beat myself up so much for not being able to do it. I think I'm going to try and test it out for a while, but on small(er) things - like this blog. If I can get with some smaller things maybe the bigger things won't seem so scary? I will let you know how it goes. 

To the Moon and Back

Paper cutting I made for my mum for Christmas...

Favourite Pins: Part 3

Okay okay. So after 2 instalments this little section has already ceased to be weekly! My brain has been full to bursting and haven't had the space to think about updating this. So you may have notice I have changed the title to "Part" rather than "Week" and from now on will stop starting each one of these with an apology.

So I thought I would try and make this instalment Christmassy, considering it's that time of year, but when I looked through the things I've been pinning recently there wasn't much Christmassy stuff there... So instead this has largely turned into more of a - things you could get me for Christmas collection.

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One: Ring Ring.
Pretty. Would like someone to buy this for me please?

Two: Wrapping.
I try to get a bit creative with my wrapping. Would love to try this out.

Three: Super8.
This summer I have been working with a company called Cine Reportage who make beautiful wedding videos shot on 16mm and Super8 film (here's one I worked on). Not only are the films beautiful but the cameras we shoot on are beautiful too - some are 60 years old. I haven't yet bought one for myself but am on the look out. Love this little turquoise Bauer 88 B from 1954. Going on my list to Father Christmas.

Four: Beautiful Shoes.
My friend Alex and I went into a Russell & Bromley recently, I think as a way of torturing ourselves and making us feel poo about all the beautiful shoes we couldn't afford. I am in love with theses little beauts and, you know, if anyone's got a spare £175 hanging around I wouldn't turn them down! Oh to be able to spend £175 on a pair of shoes.

Five: Christmas Dress.
I always have this idea about getting all dressed up for Christmas, but I never do... If I did though I think this little dress would be perfect. Again slightly out of my price range, but a girl can dream.

Six: Soggy Couple.
Not gunna lie, have been feeling pretty loved up recently. Must be something in the air. Also like the idea of being in the middle of nowhere with the boy. We don't really get much alone time at the moment so this would be bliss.

Bedroom

Favourite Pins: Week 2

Ok. So it has been slightly longer than a week that I posted my last (and first) Fave Pins post. Not the best of starts but in my defence it has been a ridiculously busy week! Lots of essay writing, video editing and forum acting going on. Has been quite productive in fact.

Anyway, this week, as the temperature has dropped, I've been feeling wintery so a lot of these pins have a bit of a wintery, warming tilt.

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One: Log Cabin.
One of these days I want to go and stay in a log cabin, cut off from everything. A kind of hibernation maybe? Just the forrest and a stack of books to occupy me. Not sure where this is, but it makes me think of the cabin where Bon Iver wrote his 'For Emma, Forever Ago' album. (If you don't know the story of this album, check it out). I would probably be a bit scared of getting murdered by some crazy forrest dweller, and nobody being able to hear my screams... but other than that I think it would be pretty blissful.

Two: Cosy Knits.
Gotta love em. I have one that I am living in at the moment thats all soft and snuggly but got my eye out for another one. This photo is from DesignLoveFest which is a Blog I love. The jumper is vintage (of course). The other reason I pinned this is because my hair used to be this colour and I have been thinking about whether to go back to it... It is always about this time of year that I get bored and want to change something, although it did wreck my hair last time.

Three: Honest Collage.
Okay this isn't specifically wintery, but hey - my rules so I can break them. I love this. Again its awkward/quirky wording mixed with collage/illustration. The artist is a guy called David Fullarton. There are some great examples of his work on Altpick. Definitely worth a look.

Four: Shorty Bob.
See pin two - Other option would be to chop it all off (it's quite long at the mo). I love this short wavy bob. Not sure if I could pull it off though... My face is a bit too round.

Five: Prague.
Oh I so want to go to Prague! And I think it would be so cool to see it at Christmas time. Me and the boyf were thinking about going this December. He's got friends that live there who we could stay with, but unfortunately it's not going to work out :( Maybe January.

Six: Cozy Windows.
One of the best things about winter has to be when you can look into peoples windows in the evenings. I love looking into peoples homes (yes, I am nosey). It always looks so cozy and warm inside! Apart from the guy who lives a few doors down and has about 15 samurai swords hanging on his walls. Doesn't have quite the same appeal.

Seven: Uniform.
One of the other things I have been thinking about changing is my wardrobe. Thought I might try just wearing black and white for a bit. So bored of my wardrobe and really struggle to find something I wanna wear, so I thought I might just really pare it down, limit my choice to black and white. I am hoping it might be like having a uniform and would make my mornings easier. Also hoping it would give me a bit of (much needed) sophistication.

Eight: Couple Jumpers.
Getting on this this winter. Sure the boyf will be on board. (Yes, I am aware that this directly contradicts number seven (particularly in terms of the desired sophistication))

Well Then

Bitch

Favourite Pins: Week 1

I am really keen to develop this little blog and to start updating it regularly. I have been trying to think of some features that I could do on a regular basis. I am totally addicted to Pinterest and I thought that it might be nice to do a feature on here of some of my favourite pins from the week. It may end up not being as regular as weekly - but we'll see!!

Here goes!!

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One: Dotty cats. 

I often think cats take themselves too seriously. 

Apparently this is from Cat People Magazine a "bilingual (Engish/Japanese) magazine – Featuring 146 pages of interviews and work by cat-obsessed artists, designers, photographers & writers."  

Two: New Shoes.

These are actually my new shoes. They are lovely proper leather brogues. I bought them from TK Maxx for £30, which I thought was a total bargain. 

Three: Home.

I love typography and text - I use it in a lot of my work and I like collecting things like this on Pinterest. I don't like the really cheesy ones but I thought this was nice. These are the words from a song that I love by Edward and the Magnetic Zeros called 'Home' (funnily enough). I like the simplicity of it. This is actually a print you can buy on Etsy.

Four: I am Fabulous.

This totally reminds me of my Grandma. She is totally fabulous, and I hope I am too when I am her age. This comes from an article on BuzzFeed '23 Senior Citizens who don't give a F*@k'

Five: Windows.

I pinned this because it relates to a project I have been working on about the city (might do a specific post about this at some point...). It reminded me of some photographs that I have taken. Worth checking out the this guy's Tumbler - some beautiful images on there. 

Six: Bed.

Ahhhh This weekend we stayed in a B&B that had the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on. I want a better bed! I've told the boyf that when we finallllllly move in together we are going to invest in a proper, good quality bed. 

Seven; Turtle Knit.

A grandma with a turtle in a knitted outfit. Need I say more?

Eight: Silly Walks. 

Okay - feel free to berate me, but I have never watched any Monty Python. I know, my parents are dreadful people. I pinned this because it is something I do when walking and I'm bored or a bit fed up and it always cheers me up! I love a funny walk! The Monty Python sketch is pretty funny but not as funny as doing a silly walk yourself. 

Junk

Working on a project at the moment about objects/collections/stuff/junk. Southend has some amazing junk shops - definitely recommend a visit. Here are some research photos I took. I might be strange - but for some reason I find them fascinating! I can't believe some of the stuff people have and also how much.

Grandma

This is my Grandma. I was photographing stuff in her house for a project I am working on and I took a few of her too. 

Love and Paper

Tried my hand at paper cutting for an engagement present for my best friend. Pretty pleased with out it turned out...

Anniversary Card

Birthday Card

Helsinki Bus Station

A little while ago I was told to read this article. It's about the 'Helsinki Bus Theory' (read the article to find out more). It is all about creativity and originality and how hard it is, as an artist, to do any thing that is truly original. This is definitely something that I recognise, and for me, the minute I get bogged down in focusing on this rather than the idea itself I feel completely paralysed. Idea-less.

I think it is the same in other areas too - I know that when I was studying Philosophy I felt the same. When writing essays we were always told to come up with something new - a new argument, a new angle. But in attempting to be original, I would spend most of my time trying to find out whether anyone had already had my idea, rather than exploring the idea itself, which I think would have been a lot more fruitful.

The Helsinki Bus Theory suggests that everything you do at first will probably have been done before, but rather than jumping ship and trying to find something that is unique - you need to stick with it to get to the original bit. Or as the article more succinctly puts it: "If you pursue originality too vigorously, you'll never reach it. Sometimes it takes more guts to keep trudging the pre-trodden path, to the originality beyond."

It is an interesting thought. I think the most important thing in all of this is to be authentic. Who gives a shit if someone has already done something similar? If it is what you are interested in and want to explore then do it! And if you do it in your own, idiosyncratic way without worrying whether it resembles someone else's work, then I think the result will probably end up being pretty unique anyway.

Red

Out

Sterile

Ordinary Objects

Island Stories & Nigel Shafran

I went to the V&A in March with my course with the aim of getting inspired. I didn't really attack it with a plan and just wandered aimlessly. I found myself in a little side room that contained a exhibition of photographs - Island Stories: Fifty Years of Photography in Britain.  It was just a temporary thing unfortunately, and I think it is finished now - shame because I would have liked to have gone again. It was a beautiful ensemble of images, spanning 5 decades - charting changes in a gentle and understated way. 

I was particularly drawn to a collection of images by Nigel Shafran - I have included a few below. These images are taken from a series called - Ruth Book, a sequence of photographs taken between June 1992 and Jan 1995, whose main subject is the artist's partner - Ruth. 

I found them really beautiful, and quite moving. I think it is how he focusses on the small and seemingly insignificant and makes us take notice of them. I love the details, like the jars on the shelf in the kitchen - he doesn't frame them out of the image - these small things are important. I think as well they resonate with me because I am really interested in how we see things - how we focus in on certain things and don't notice others - and also how this translates into memory - what we remember from certain moments. Moreover it also links to how we use photographs as an aid for memory, and what we are trying to capture and preserve. 

I could look at these images for hours.